Why I Stayed
by CyrusBreeze
Summary: Three reasons why Tris Prior remained in an abusive relationship, and the reason she left.


Title: Why I Stayed

trigger Warning: Domestic Violence and Abuse

Summary: Three reasons why Tris stayed, and the reason why she left.

Notes: The hashtag #WhyIStayed is going around Twitter today. This is a very powerful hashtag, and has some very real instances of abuse.

For those of you who do not understand why some Domestic Violence victims stay. Listen to this:

If you put a frog in booing water, the frog would immediately jump out. But, if you put the frog I'm water and slowly turn up the heat, the frog stays.

Most Domestic Violence situations start off small, typically with physical or verbal insults.

XxX

. I got pregnant at 17, Peter stayed. He was 22 at he invited be to move in with him. I went, against my parent's wishes. He told me that I didn't need a college education, that my job was to stay home and raise our son, I believed him.

It started with the small things. He began calling me a slut and a whore. It slowly got worse. He accused me of cheating on him, I couldn't go anywhere without his permission.

The first time he hit me, I though I deserved it. I wasn't listening to him, Noah was crying, and he was trying to watch his football game. I didn't say anything when the abuse continued.

I. I believed my son needed him.

"I'm leaving," I told him, clutching Noah close to my chest. He's squirming, crying softly. My eye burned, and I could tell it waalready bruising.

"You're not," Peter says. He's slurring his words, he's drunk. He holds out his arms for Noah. Noah reaches for him. Peter grabs Noah. "He needs me." Peter says, pressing a kiss to Noah's forehead.

He hands Noah back to me. I hold him close to me as I head to the kitchen.

I grab ice from the freeze and put it on my eye. Noah clutches tighter to me when he hears a crash.

"Noah," I whispered. "Mommy loves you." And I did love him, and he needed his dad, so I stayed.

II. Marriage was forever; I couldn't just give up.

Fresh bruises littered my skin. It hurt like hell. Noah moved around the bathroom, he was almost a year then, and he toddled around, gently patting my back at times. I flinched. I ran the makeup over my face, putting extra over my black eye. I looked horrible.

It didn't matter, though. Peter was letting Noah and I go to lunch with a friend, which I was excited about.

I smiled when I got there, sitting in the Applebee's booth.

Noah had fallen asleep before the food had came, but I'd figured I'd feed him after we got home.

I talked with Alina, she was a friend from high school, the only one Peter has allowed me to keep. Alina was a quiet woman.

Halfway through lunch, she asked about my bruises. I didn't think anyone noticed, but I suppose Alina did.

I told her why, in a whispered tone, fear and humiliation coloring my voice.

Alina touched my hand. "Marriage is like a bed," she said, quietly. "You made it, now you have to lie in it."

III. He said he was sorry. And I believed him. Again and again and again.

He apologized in the mornings. He always did. I sat on the floor with Noah, and now Riley, two years younger than a now four year old Noah, and Abbigail, whose was only a month old. I had slept in the bathtub the previous night.

It hurt too much. I had bruised ribs, cuts, and I was almost positive that my wrist was sprained. My kids sat in the bathroom with me.

Abbigail was in my arms. Riley and Noah sat on the floor. Riley colored, and Noah sang softly, comforting Riley. Even then, I suspected he knew a little of what was going on.

The door open and Riley and Npah flinch, Riley moving a little closer to me. Peter scared the kids, but he didn't lay a hand on them, and Riley and Noah loved him.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I nodded at Peter.

"This won't happen again." He says. He holds out his hand for me. I take his hand and stand up. He kisses my cheek.

"I love you," he says.

"I love you too," he says to the kids.

Noah and Riley nod. "I love you too daddy." Riley is the first to stand. She hugs him Noah stands soon after, wrapping his arms around Peter.

Peter was sorry. It wouldn't happen again. I had my family.

IV. Someone cared.

I saw him watching me at the kid's pick up place at school. Noah was in second grade, Riley was in kindergarten.

It wasn't until two months into school he finally approached me. "I'm Keegan's dad." He said.

I shrugged. "Our boys play together." I wasn't supposed to talk to the other men. Peter hated that.

"It's Noah, right?" He asks.

I nod. He shifts his hands and I flinch.

"Keegan talks about Noah all the time. He wants to have a sleepover."

"I don't think that's a good idea." I tell him.

He shifts, the bell rings and the kids come out. Noah and Riley tell me about their day, they play with Abby on the walk home I can't stop thinking about the man.

The next day, he dropped a card in the cup holder of Abby's stroller.

"I'm married," I said quickly, defensively. If it was his number, Peter would find out. He'd be pissed at me for cheating. He'd hurt me, and it'd be my fault.

The other things were my fault. I didn't get dinner ready fast enough, the house was never clean sometimes I didn't feel like having sex. It was my fault, that's why Peter hit me.

He only nodded, and then he walked away. We were halfway home before I had the courage to look at the card. 'Hands of Hope' was all it said, with a number to call.

I called the number with shaky terrified hands when I got home. "Hands of hope for domestic violence victims," the voice said. I hung up twice before I finally spoke.

Johanna met me outside of Riley and Noah's school the next day. She walked home with me. She asked if I wanted to leave. I did. I really did.

"Who was the guy?" I asked. "The one that gave me the card."

"Tobias?" Johanna says. I nod. "He and his mom came to is when he was eleven. He's done a lot of stuff Hands of Hope. He also acts as a mentor for the younger kids, most of them need a positive make figure."

She tells me I could leave tonight, but I want to wait. I still have things to do, I still have to pack.

He beat the shit out of me that night. He'd saw my phone record, he thought I was cheating on him.

He had never hurt me like this before. I don't remember losing consciousness, I don't remember Peter leaving, I don't remember Noah calling 911. I don't remember the ambulance ride, DHS taking away my kids, or being in the ICU.

XxX

I remember waking up a week later, begging for my kids. I remember that he brought them in. I remember my kids gently hugging me. I remember being told I almost died, that I was lucky that I wasn't paralyzed.

That was four years ago, I'm married now. I'm in a healthy relationship. I have 6 kids. I have a stable healthy family. A month ago, while speaking at a conference, someone asked me why I stayed. This is why I stayed, and it's why I left.

XxX

Domestic Violence is a very serious thing. If you or someone you know is suffering from Domestic Abuse, the hotline . Org has some resources.


End file.
